Paranoia Nation

Some of my friends from the overseas came to over to Malaysia told me this.

“Hey Wils, why Malaysians don’t smile back when you smile at them? Is  Malaysia a stressful place?”

Is Malaysia a stressful place? Nah, I dont think so. I personally wish we are a little bit more stressful for our own good. People are just so slow around here, that there aren’t any sense of urgency. Anyway, back to the smiley thing. I am sure my friends from Western Europe expected a lot from Malaysia when they see this photo below roaming around the strrets of London in a red double decker.

All five pretty malaysian, ever smiling and screaming Why You No Come Malaysia??? That smile captivated tourists to Malaysia. However, all you ever get is this..

All Malaysians looking sad and frowning all the time, probably thinking, “Why You Smile, You think its Funny???

Here are some test I manage to do around KL lately, Let me warn you first that I may not be handsome but I have quite a smile.. haha.. I mean, everyone can smile, how hard could it be… Here are the test results..

1. Smiling at a rich looking Girl
Result: The girl wouldn’t want to look at you and turns away dramatically..
She might be thinking: Hey boy, you better be rich, a model, owns a ferrari, bla bla bla to even put a smile on my face..

2. Smiling at a ordinary Malaysian Girl
Result: The girl will look on the floor all the time as if  there are gold plates around my kicks.
She might be thinking: My god, why is this guy smiling at me, Do I look silly? is he a sex maniac? does he want to rob me?, is my teeth covered in vege? yada yada yada

3. Smiling at an auntie with kids
Result: A blank stare, as if I am her worst nightmare
She might be thinking: Aiyo, this boy, he wants to kidnap my kids?What should I do!

4. Smiling at a handsome guy
Result: The girl guy wouldn’t want to look at you and turns away dramatically..
He might be thinking: What the hell dude, stop admiring my abs you perv!

5. Smiling at an ordinary guy.
Result: Immediately looked away to some other girls
He might be thinking: Hey, do you think its funny, I know I look a beng, you NO NEED TO Laugh at me ok!.. aiyo!

6. Smiling at a middle aged uncle
Result: A sharp stare onto your face.
He might be thinking: Hey, if you come any closer, I’ll call the police, and please don’t rob me, my pay day is 3 weeks to go!

7. Smiling at senior citizens
Result: Smile back at you, insincerely.
They might be thinking: This young man, want to sell us something, not so easy!

8. Smiling a international tourist
Result: A Sincere Smile
They Might be thinking: Ah finally, someone who smiled at me today!

9. Smiling to the Mamak Fella
Result: The sweetest fake smile ever followed by a pat on your back
They might be thinking: *nothing la seriously, customer whut*

10. Smiling at the security guards.
Result: You get a smile and a salute from them
They might be thinking: This boy, wake me up in the middle of the night!

There you have it, Malaysians who will probably smile at you are the mamak fella, the security guard, credit card salesman and politicians,

Oh Dear Malaysia,
What is wrong with you! When a person smiles at you, TRUST ME, he or she means no harm. Just look into their eyes and return a smile.. it is that simple and it cost nothing!

be true to your school people, and dont be a paranoid “frowny” Malaysian


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