Why I did not give up on you…..

There is this sugar cube that goes

“Wilson, Thanks for everything… I really don’t understand why you put so much effort in nurturing me while I am so weak in the organization. Why you did not give up on me?”

I would just want to ask you all out there, Give me a reason why should I give up on you?

A year back, I had the same thing running on my head. As one of the potential leaders, I am far more quiet than most of them out there in 2008. I kept many things to myself because I was unsure what are the consequences if I were to say something that might hurt others. I made sure everything was politically correct before it came out from my mouth. Although most of the things I said is right, but people deemed me as weak and reserved due to my practice.

Thats where I met my mentors and friends in AIESEC. Without them I will be the same person as last year. If you think doing things that you do regularly is hard, try doing things which is not in your comfort zone. A lot of times I woke up middle of the night thinking what kind of mess did I got myself into. With zero experience in Sales, I went on selling things which are so new in AIESEC and the market. To make things even more difficult, I have to lead a team to develop this product from scratch. SAVE wasn’t easy to sell as we always need to use the softer approach in the non corporate market. Too Pushy, will make the investors doubt your intention of the investment, too soft will under value your product.

Although things are hard, finally, I am receiving responce for SAVE… There are times that I wanted to give up on it, but I just couldn’t let down those people who believed in me . Evelyn, JX, KJ, Tina, Fong, Mus and Mich didnt gave up on me and provided the space for me to excel. And with that, I do believe my AIESEC journey is worthwhile till this very moment and beyond.

So, why I didnt give up on you? The answer is simple, because AIESEC didnt gave up on me as well. I am here to make sure I develop you before my term ends and to provide you a life changing experience as the same thing that goes with me, if not better. I truly believe this organization has a lot to offer for you all out there. You just have to believe its possible.

So where will I end up in AIESEC 2010? Its certain that I will continue my AIESEC journey but to where and how, that is another question. I had run for LCP back in 2008 and to re-run, I better make sure I am damm good before I submit the application. With my experience in NCR, perhaps MC Managerial position will be a good platform for me as well. Sometimes, it is not as simple as you decided to lead and you run for it. That only works for first timers. Seasoned people like me have to figure out where I fit in the best and leverage on strengths to make sure AIESEC gain the best out of me.

I told myself that I will use MNC to decide where my strengths are and I believed I know what to do now. As the same for MyLDS 2008, expect something from me aite. It may or may not be a surprise but I promise you I am not giving up on the organization, my dreams, what I really really want to do and last but not least,

I will never give up on you……

2012: The day the world may go away

2012,

How Ironic, that there is a possibility that the world really ends within a few years. To tell you about the truth, I’ve been exposed to doomsday 2012 since year 2007. Its is by my fanatic uncle who believes in weird things such as the Feng Shui and I-Ching. I still remember I sat in front of his laptop for 2 hours watching videos educating us on the survival of our mankind. Things were so real as there were proofs towards all these allegations as well, such as this belowDoomsday Vault, Norway

Why would you spend up to 9 million USD to built a seed vault out of a sudden? It is understandable in Malaysia because such project can pave way towards undertable money feast but in Norway?? Although it is used to put seeds now but it had been rumored to be able to be inhibited by humans as well. Of course besides this the other “proofs” are like the double sun that you will see in Australia.. But when I went to Perth, It was so bloody hot just with one sun! haha…

It even went more ridiculous when my uncle planned to built a bunker in his new home in Johor.. I was kinda speechless though. And after I watched 2012, I knew that a bunker wouldn’t work as well… For for past few years, i had been thinking what if everything were to end in 2012? I didnt think of survival as I know there are only that much we can do to keep us alive if the world have to end..

Shall we think of survival or think of the things we need to do before it really ends?

This is the jackpot question I want to ask people all the time… If we are to choose option A. We might have a chance of survival but we won’t have enough time and mood to do the things we really like. Option B where we will have a real slim chance of survival but have just enough time not to die full of regrets if we were to.

People in life always say live as if you’re going to die tomorrow. But if I were to live that way, why the hell would I care about my work and studies today? So it kinda doesn’t make sense too sometimes. My way of doing it is, I will not leave anything hanging in the air from now onwards. If I were to do something, I will have to finish it till I get a yes, no, success or failure. By doing things left in the pending list, everything is left undone and you’re never achieve anything in life.

If you were to finish up everything, even if you fail, you can said to yourself that you had tried, without giving up.

Lesson learned from 2012, don’t wait till its too late, and make sure you dont regret the things that you did not do due to small little reasons…

 

Escape from Reality

I’ve been telling my friends that lately, I can’t seem to control my desire to know everything that is happening around me..

To be honest, I can only do that if I believe I am all mighty. I am begining to feel quite afraid that this will lead to something critical, which is obsession. But if I know how to be afraid, I think I will never reach the obsession stage rite?

Holidays are coming.. perhaps its a fantastic chance to hit the reset button as I will be away from this island. And regenerate a better me. I’ve realise there are somethings in me that haven’t been changing, all due to me bringing and dragging history with me all the while. I just dont know how to let go and I am too afraid to move on. Being too self-conscious too ain’t a good thing. After all, there is nothing wrong with a little risk taking rite.. I always think I had built up a well enough reputation and I am not willing to risk it. But it seems that my reputation is only good and appealing to the masses, and not to personal individuals…Well I am a good talker and advisor but when it comes to applying it I am just not up to the mark…

Time to change?…. absolutely…

When life gives you lemons…

Hi peeps

Hows the exam treating you all? Some might even say everything is good, except for the exams. While most people had already finished their gruelling papers, I am still stuck with 3 papers..How ironic is that when you know you’re prepared for the paper and yet the paper is not coming. Its like charged up boxer trying to go to the ring, but you know for the fact that you can only be charged up for a moment..

So hows my life been so far? Busy with a lot of things as usual. If you see me not being busy, something got to be wrong. Either I stop my job, or i gave up on my studies or I went cookoo over the pile of work waiting for me on the table. Life in the office is pretty mundane sometimes but well, its better to get used to it now rather than facing the reality when I will be working.

Being optimistic ain’t a thing which I am doing by lately… lately… till now… I grew up finally knowing that i need to wake up from being a boy. I might seem mature-ish to most people, but deep down,I think I am not doing what i preach. I begin not to CONSIDER doing “risky” things which may change my life forever. And when I mean risky, it may mean things which MAY be illegal, MAY be dangerous and most of the time, silly…. Yea, I am still pretty wild, although i dont show it. * please dont ask me what things what i considered doing last time..

It is lately, the “What if” thing came by as well. What if i do this and this, will it effect my life in a long run? But more concretely, What if I hurt someone if they know I am doing this?  This is the time where I really know I need to grow up, be a man and seriously, do the right thing. If you’re reading this, I would like you to know I am not treating you as “tool” where it helps me grow up.. I am treating you as a person who I think its worthwhile doing things right for. Well, i need someone to wake me up at first and perhaps to keep me there forever… I know its pretty bluntly sincere/unromantic/uncool, but I am just practicing radical honestly like I did last time with you…

I kept whining that things are still the same where I actually know its not. I kept on saying history repeats itself when I know history is for me to create. I kept on saying I can’t do this and that where actually those things doesn’t need superhuman abilities to execute .Excuses are just overrated… I really got to carry on even though its hard… And I dont deserve extra time because life ain’t worthwhile to stop!

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonades..

May the Force be with you

Research after research

Calls after calls

Appointments after appointments..

Everytime I brought my juniors to appointments, the one thing i fear the most is they wouldn’t get the ideal experience from AIESEC. I’ve been to numerous appointments and most of the time, I was rejected. I’ve learned from every appointments but each appointment is very different from the rest. Some will tell you nicely that they dont need you, some will tell you sacarsticly what they are better than you, and some of you just want to belittle you because they somehow know you’re not a working professional.

But everytime after an unsucessful appointment, I did remember what Mr Louis, my ex principal told the school. Its regarding George Lucas and Starwars. Starwars was a total revolution and most production companies consider it as crap in those days. George Lucas went to companies like Universal Studios and sell his idea but he was turned down. Universal passed on StarWars because they consider it to be an unfathomable and silly movie idea. Then he went to every single studio to sell his idea and every single company in hollywood turned him down!.. And finally he reached the last studio, which was 20th Century Fox. and hence the lightsabres, luke skywalker and darth vader was born.

Imagine this, If George Lucas gave up half way, we wont be seeing a film that revolutionised the movie world. Well, that mentality kept me where I am now. I am still hopeful that one day people will see my Sponsor a Volunteer Engagement Program the way I see it. If it takes 100 appointment to reach it, well, there is no stopping to it right?

I believe perseverance pays. I might be the most hard headed and persistent idiot the world had known, but I think if I believe in something, we might as well commit into it.

May the Force be with you people, and never give up!

in a blink of an eye

Wow,

I can’t believe it that the holidays had gone just like that. This was one of my most anticipated breaks so far in my varsity; after 4 weeks of non stop tests and assignments. I’ve not been rested well physically as I tend to get too tempted with my ultra fast internet connection at home and hence I slept quite late.

But a thing for sure, I am mentally prepared for October. I still remembered last 2 sem where the last month before the final exam is usually the craziest month of the semester where the lecturer tries to finish the syllabus, and multiple left over test are being done. I am usually so bruised and battered even before the real exam starts in November. Lets hope everything is alright this time…

I really utilised my holidays to the maximum this time around. I went to singapore immediatly when my break starts. But one thing, i missed all the wondeful gathering of USS1 and my michaelian gang.. Right from Kee Cheong sister’s wedding to william and saimun’s birthday till the class yum cha session. Perhaps december, if I am not in the Mid-National Conference, I’ll be there I promise.

Being back in Ipoh is just so refreshing. I love singapore but that is just not the place where I feel the connection with. No doubt singapore will be the place I will work in the future but Ipoh is just splendid. Meeting the gang and chatting with them makes me realise where I really came from. I might be a big shot in the uni but deep inside us, we are humans where friends, family and home is always where the heart is..

Listening to their stories, laughing at the same old lame jokes makes me realise I have a place for me to fall back to whenever I need it. Well, that happens on the virtual platform as well. Lately i knew this wonderful friend from USM who I only met twice in person till now. Its pretty fun talking to her through msn and sms. I guess this little little things is all I need.

See you in the uni or in december and lets max out for another 8 weeks..

cheers!

Disarray

When I decided to slow down my actions a few weeks back, due to my inability to work swiftly back then, I started to observe a lot of things. Especially the people around me. The observation did gave me good insights of how people reacts/works/functions around me.  Through those observation i begun to work well with people I used to think I won’t work well with. Well, some observation came early and worked out well, but for some, I guess, its a little too late…

Back in St Michael’s, I was in this group of 17 fantastic people who are now doing well in their respective university. In this 17, there were a few clusters and I am in this cluster of 5 people. One of them being my brother-for-life who is studying in UM rite now. 5 of us are still pretty intact right now, all due to one reason, we have similar personalities.. 5 of us knows what we want in life, knows how to do it and we are willing to work for it, even if it means working in a Law firm for free just like one of us.

In USM, I have my close friends too, the group is bigger and I am in this cluster consisting of 5 people as well coincidentally. However, how this 5 compared to the 5 I had from Ipoh is very different. We have similar goals but our personalities are quite at the opposite ends. Well, I did realised that a few weeks back but is there anything I can do to fix this problem?

The answer if NO. We can’t fix personalities, we just have to adapt.

And thats what I did. But lately, things didnt go so well. For one problem, I forsee it coming sooner or later but for another problem, well, let just put it as unexpected. I, who had always played a fence sitter in this group can’t believe to be the most neutral one in the group right now. A lot of people used to think I am in this group to “freeload the fun” and not actually caring on their personal issues. Well, I used to be a type of person who believe people will share their issues with me if they want to. Thatz why I didn’t ask, but somehow or rather I believe its high time for me to get connected as my policy isn’t working well.

If being neutral is the key to fix back the cracks, I am more than willing to do it but the question is how? There is a risk in helping out all this kinda stuff and the failure is just too much to handle. Its not about being cowardy, but being wise sometimes. I am seriously confuse about this and I hope I am still the best person to mend the wounds

Losing this cluster is the last thing I ever need right now….

In the Zone

Few years back when I step into a large event, I often step aside and became the observer… unwilling to participate, and even more unwilling to talk to strangers..

Well today in AIESEC’s Global Village, I think i did realise some changes in me. I’m no more an observer, I’m part of the event itself. Gosh, I was telling myself I am a very different man compared to a year ago!

Although some part in me still need improvement, but in this case, I guess I’ve improved a lot!

So the GV can be summarize into one word, its Superfragilisticexpialidocious! In other words, its Happily AWESOME! Its been quite a while you’ll see such a large crowd of people being so hyped up for Hours! Even during closing, they actually need to off the lights to keep their energy level down.. haha… But to think of it, its pretty normal….

We’re still AIESECers lah… of course we are hyped up, even during tornados and el ninos…haha

I’ve met a lot of my colleagues today. Seeing them makes me jealous of not being able to make it into the central region. But Penang is not too bad after all, especially with the friends you can get from AIESEC in USM. I always got this silly feeling of missing people too quickly. Just like when i was in my high school when i tend to miss newly made friends from other states in band exchanges. I am still pretty much the same after all this years in this context though. I just came back from GV and I am already wondering when is the next time I will be able to meet them again… Its not easy to have friends who are doing the same thing as you are everyday and understands the situation you’re facing everyday.. I’ll really miss every single one of them… Perhaps MNC, we shall meet again.. although its 4 months away but that is the most feasible time… lol

I love what I am doing and I just love AIESEC for it… don’t ask me, its “complicated”..hahaha

The language to your future

When juniors in AIESEC comes to me and say they are not good in sales, Its understandable because they dont have any experience in sales at all..

When people came to me and said its difficult to speak on the stage, its understandable as how many of us had the chance and exposure to speak in front of a massive crowd when we were young…

When people come to me and tell me they can’t master English and they never will… this… I can’t understand at all..

I’ve been in the varsity for more than a year now and the people who are weak in english is still in the masses. A lot of people came to me last year and told me not to speak in english with them because they are inferior of that language. I totally understand your feelings but when will you ever have the initative to improve it? Graduation day or working periods?..

I’ve asked a lot fo people, including my juniors that what is the problem hindering them. And I can summarize everything into one word… PLATFORM

Most people are unable to find a proper platform for them to practise their language skill. A lof of them are blaming external factors such as peer pressures and so on, but to be honest, you dont need a platform like AIESEC to practice the language. You can always have the initiative to start talking to your friends in english. No matter how odd, as long as you take the lead, people will go your way…

I do stumble upon this answer before when I asked one of my juniors

“Its okay that I don’t master the English language. I can always work in China where my Mandarin is understandable there.”

This is so wrong. Have you ever wonder why would China hire another worker who works like a normal Chinese and speaks only good mandarin. They already have 1.3 billion of these people in China!! Do they still need you? What they need is an English speaking Chinese with mandarin skills..

I know, in the Malaysian working world, a lot of Chinese are getting frustrated over the english educated chinese bloke. Its not that the english educated chinese bloke works better or smarter, but they just convey the message better.

“Our new immigrants know that in Singapore, without an adequate command of English, they cannot go far. The command of English is the decisive factor for the career path and promotion prospects of all Singaporeans.”                                                                                                                                                   -lee kwan yew-

The Singaporeans had realized it a long time ago, so when will you wake up?

The Fallen

3 weeks and counting, my body’s daily capacity and performance had fallen below the average line….

I’ve never been that ill in my life before. Although I can finally feel that I am healing, but I am still pretty weak….

Sleepless nights, unfit living conditions and terrible meals just makes me want to be home again..

During these few weeks, I’ve been thinking, how am I going to bounce back when I am well again? I’ve delayed and cancel so many plans till the extent of rupturing my plans. It is now I realise how vunerable I am. I might have the best spirits and the be the best person for best position in the world, but what is the use when you are not able to work on it anymore.. Probably its time to go back to my ordinary life and let some other people continue my work and dreams.

However, Its very hard for you let go everything when you are not ready for it. It even harder for other people to find a replacement for you as my works and dreams are uniquely mine. No other people will work the same as Wilson Ng. No other people will have the same dreams as Wilson Ng. However if the time comes, I  need to do the right thing, which is letting go and accept the fact that things are still running when I am not…

the world is still rotating my dear…

Well, I know its weird and silly to have such mentality. But as a smart person, we have to prepare for the worst, especially when things are really not going your way for the time being… I do believe sometimes its better to let go now in order to achieve other things in life in the future….

Arrgh… another Dr’s Appointment tomorrow… Hopefully things are going to get better compared to the last visit.. The last visit there was really demoralizing.. No wonder some people hate to go to seek treatment from doctors, especially when you are diagnosed with something serious because everything sounds deadly to you.. LOL!. But hopefully the 5th visit tomorrow will be better..

Hint to all USM students, when you are really sick, please go to an external Doctor outside of the university. USM only allocates RM9 for medication per student if I am not mistaken. And my medication now from the external doctors already cost me RM 25 only for the antibiotics alone.. See the difference? It is only this week I can feel that I am healing compared to the last 2 weeks, after seeing the external doctor. Don’t wait till its too late..

take care people…